Reviews

Between 2005-2016 I wrote more than 2,000 reviews for the Chicago Tribune's RedEye. Here's a good place to start.

'Deep Water' borders on self-parody

Hulu

No, they don't make erotic thrillers much anymore. Yes, "Deep Water" is rather ridiculous. But the most outrageous thing about director Adrian Lyne's first movie since 2002's "Unfaithful" is people praising it simply for its genre. Just because the industry has become weirdly sexless doesn't mean this isn't the cinematic equivalent of waiting for your bread to toast, only to realize hours later you forgot to plug in the damn thing. You're left feeling very dumb and just a tad hungry.

Ben Affleck stars as Vic, who is wealthy and bored and simultaneously permissive about his wife Melinda (Ana De Armas) flirting with men all over town and blatantly guilty of an increasing number of disappearances of said men. Though the film is set in New Orleans and there appear to be at least two police officers employed there, the lack of investigation is enough to send every jealous husband afraid of starring in a "20/20" special headed south. This is not a delicate balance of sexual manipulation and evolved marital dynamics; it's a movie that has not decided anything about its central relationship, what it used to be like or how it evolved or the most basic internal logic required for even a movie proud to be 80% nonsense. A few of those percentage points come from Vic’s fixation on snails, which could have led to a great, twisted scene, but “Deep Water” avoids delivering on every promising idea it has.

Technically the movie is adapted from a Patricia Highsmith novel, yet it feels like someone tried to write "Gone Girl" while playing tennis. Where a movie like "The Talented Mr. Ripley" is gorgeous and complex and upsetting and rewards endless viewings, "Deep Water" seems to simulate the experience of falling head-first onto a rock. It cuts off any thought or depth or detail whenever possible, and it's far too murky to be good trash.

Familiar faces like Lil Rel Howery and Dash Mihok appear as Vic's friends, and there's no reason to even try to explain the character forced on Tracy Letts. Where Lyne ("Fatal Attraction," "Indecent Proposal") forged his identity on explorations of infidelity and lurid temptation, "Deep Water" hasn't a clue what brings or keeps anyone together, and at no point does Affleck (very good in the aforementioned "Gone Girl") seem clear on what he's supposed to do. It's certainly justified that many are glad to see a movie driven by lust again, but it's difficult to express just how repetitive and vapid this excuse for a thriller is in its architecture. There’s no mystery to solve or full indulgence of crazy, just an empty exercise in sex-based conflict. That doesn't make it fun or diverting, just sporadically hot and largely embarrassing, a gas station burrito not to be mistaken for a late-night delight.

D

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Matt Pais